Get Your Message Through
by Ezell Cook Jr. on 06/23/11
Have you ever had a misunderstanding that cost you a valuable friendship? Was it because someone didn’t really understand the message you were trying to convey. Perhaps because you couldn’t bring yourself to broach a certain topic due to how uncomfortable you were with the subject matter? Maybe you just thought they would understand because they knew you so well, but that did not turn out to be the case. Don’t worry you are not alone, and unfortunately these things are likely to continue unless we learn from our mistakes.
Years ago I lost a dear friend because I was unable to share condolences when her father died. Due to my rather empathic nature I couldn’t look my loved one in the eyes and communicate sympathy because I could literally feel her grief. All I could do was cringe in unbearable stomach pain at the mere glance of her eyes, let alone try to hug her at work. I knew we would both starting to cry uncontrollably. Can you imagine the scandal of a 6’4, 250 lb man crying at work over a man he never met? Well that should not have stopped me but it did. I tried to explain in an email and of course that didn’t go over well with my friend either. Who can understand what being empathic is like. It was something that I had not experienced before, so I was at a loss. I was just as surprised as she was that I could feel her emotions so strongly. Because of that incident I had to learn to deal with my sensitivities and how to comfort my loved ones no matter what. This is something that I had to forgive myself for and make sure that I never let emotion stop me from being there for my friends and family. I will always Love you T. and because of you, I will always show it.
My point, be open, honest and authentic even if it hurts a little. You can’t take back what you don’t say either.
Peace be with you,
Coach Ezell
